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Mon, Apr. 16th, 2007, 11:16 am

Such a non event, such a little sentence, one you've uttered so many times. This scenario played out again and again.

I thought there were only two possible endings. But not this time. This time there was a third ending, an ending that I wrote. One where i'm not manipulated, not drowning in a sea of inadequacy and a need to make it all better. And no blame either, no anger, no hate, not even dislike, just relief and a feeling of fondness for you. I found strength in silence. I don't need to explain anymore. You leave and even though my head is complaining of too much wine, that is the only thing that I can complain about.

I float and feel the space within where I used to hate myself. Infinity, this is freedom.

I've changed. I don't care if you don't get it, I don't care if you never move on. I'm just happy I have.

Mon, Apr. 16th, 2007 01:32 am (UTC)


Mon, Apr. 16th, 2007 01:35 am (UTC)
velitu: p.s.

i call that moment "the third flip". its a divine and incredibly powerful place to be.

Mon, Apr. 16th, 2007 01:39 am (UTC)
madefromstars: Re: p.s.

That's exactly what it is! wow. Summed up in three words :-)

The first went for 10 years, the second for five. Such a relief to get to this place. xx

Mon, Apr. 16th, 2007 01:53 am (UTC)
velitu: Re: p.s.

most people never get there so when i meet others who get there, i treasure them.

a real power from within moment.

Mon, Apr. 16th, 2007 01:57 am (UTC)
madefromstars: Re: p.s.

True power, yeah. :-D

Thank you for commenting, it is very wonderful to know that you get it.